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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27047185">rosewater</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles'>Nebbles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:34:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27047185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lorenz’s fingers felt like magic through his locks, the touch warm and familiar, and it caused Ferdinand to say he could handle growing it once more. He wished for happy memories, for associations that did not bring him back to those years of fighting for his life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ferdinand von Aegir/Lorenz Hellman Gloucester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>rosewater</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I kept thinking about how Ferdinand just "forgot" to cut his hair over those five years, and just wondered did he actually forget, or was there more beneath the surface?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’d been years since Ferdinand had given his hair much thought, ridiculous as a sentiment it felt to bear. Upon his return to the monastery, he’d received questions as to why he grew it out, how he managed to maintain it--all simple small talk, and each one had been met with a lie. Obscuring the truth, even for a small query, wasn’t a habit he expected to gain. However, it was easier to say he grew it for vain reasons, or that it suited a noble such as himself.</p><p>It felt pathetic to admit he’d <em> forgotten </em>to cut his hair. Ferdinand could give the excuse of being on the run, of the war breathing down his neck, surely he would have noticed. Those five years slipped between his fingers, like grains of sand, lost to the wind. Was it shame that stopped him sharing the truth to others? That they’d look upon him in pity over such a trivial matter? There were times he’d been tempted to cut it, to take the nearest dagger and sever the weight of the war. </p><p>He’d given into that temptation once, jagged sections of hair haphazardly strewn over his shoulders. The fallen hair laid limp on the floor, each lock a testament to how much he <em> hated </em>this weakness, how it dared to define him. When Ferdinand had glanced at himself in the mirror, panic-stricken eyes looking at the mess he’d caused, a soft sob escaped his throat. He felt no better than before, and looked nothing more than a fool. However much time passed until Lorenz found him, Ferdinand couldn’t say. All he remembered was gently being lifted off the bathroom floor, reassurances whispered into his ear with each step to their bedroom.</p><p>Ferdinand couldn’t place as to why he had to cut it off, why the hair tickling at his shoulders and back felt like ants crawling up his skin. Perhaps he’d hope the memories of fighting for survival, of losing his men to harsh winters, of how he once felt perfectly coiffed hair stuck to his neck, slick with sweat and blood, would detach itself from his conscience with each slice of the dagger. They hadn’t, and he only wept harder into Lorenz’s shoulder, who ran his fingers through mangled hair.</p><p>After the last sob had left him, Lorenz had asked to work out the uneven ends. He said had Ferdinand wished to cut it to its previous length, or grow it out once more, neither option would diminish his beauty. Lorenz’s fingers felt like magic through his locks, the touch warm and familiar, and it caused Ferdinand to say he could handle growing it once more. He wished for happy memories, for associations that did not bring him back to those years of fighting for his life. Perhaps it was selfish, but Ferdinand wished to grow out his hair to have Lorenz care for it in this intimate, gentle manner.</p><p>Once more, it had begun to cascade down his back. His hair was not defined by split ends, damaged and broken, but by a healthy glow and luster. Ferdinand could be <em> proud </em>of his appearance, and could offer a happier answer as to why he’d grown out his hair once more. If his Lorenz, his darling rose loved it so, was that not reason enough? </p><p>“Thank you, dearest,” he murmured in the gentle candlelight of the bathroom, “you have not once retracted your offer to wash my hair, since we began this habit of ours.”</p><p>“I have always enjoyed running my fingers through it,” Lorenz continued to work careful hands through his hair, “and knowing it helps you heal, I would not dare to stop.” </p><p>“Your kind sentiments have played a part in my recovery, I must admit.” Ferdinand could sink below the waters, and their warmth would hardly compare to Lorenz’s voice. “Even when frayed and brittle, you were able to offer such beautiful words.”</p><p>“When my subject matter is lovelier than the heavens themselves, what did you expect?” The soft, floral scent of shampoo filled the air. “Must I remind you of the endless poems I have written in your name?”</p><p>“It is rather difficult to forget, and I do not envision myself doing so anytime soon,” he gave a gentle chuckle, “you could fill a library with the sweet nothings you have penned in my name.” </p><p>Lorenz gave a thoughtful hum as he began to lather his hands. “I do not mind dedicating a wing to Fódlan’s grandest libraries with words of our affections. Would that not be a charming way to be remembered, alongside the prosperity we have brought this very continent?” </p><p>A warm flush crept its way up Ferdinand’s neck. He did have to wonder how he hadn't gotten used to this already; they’d been in love for so long, begun a life of wedded bliss, and yet each soft declaration made Ferdinand feel as if he’d fallen for Lorenz all over again. A fate of butterflies flitting about in his stomach hardly seemed unkind, and Ferdinand could spend the rest of his life falling in love over and over again, never tiring of the feeling.</p><p>Aside from the warmth in his heart, Ferdinand appreciated how they chipped away at his insecurities, at the self doubt that dared to claw its way back into his being. They hadn’t taken root and festered in some time, yet the fear of that occurrence still came to mind in his lowest moments. He wasn’t reliant on Lorenz’s words to build up his confidence, but they kept the path paved with warm light. Their gentle illumination kept Ferdinand from getting lost within the recesses of his mind. </p><p>“I would not mind hearing them again,” he whispered, “my mind has… well, it has... gone back to the day I cut my own hair.” </p><p>For a moment, Lorenz’s hands stilled. When his motions continued, they were gentler than before, slow as his fingers massaged against Ferdinand’s scalp. “Do you know what brought upon those memories? It has been some time since you have given thought to those days.”</p><p>“I do not.” He squeezed his eyes tighter, as if that would impart an answer onto his mind. “I am not displeased with the length my hair is. I wish to keep it this way, and yet a part of me feels this pinprick of discomfort.” </p><p>Ferdinand had forgotten a fair amount of his time on the run. At first, he swore it was for the better, his mind blocking out the pain, the endless stretches of fear, wondering if he’d survive yet another day. But those days were a part of him, proof of his tenacity, that he’d gone through the worst obstacle of his life. He made it to the monastery in one piece, despite all the world had thrown against him. When aware of his surroundings, that no harm was to befall him, Ferdinand realized how <em> long </em>his hair had gotten, and that he was afraid to cut it. Had he done so, the soldiers would find him. They would find the Aegir boy, the traitor to Adrestia. They would hunt him down, lances aimed towards his throat, and would not hesitate to harm anyone who attempted to defend him. Ferdinand would have been helpless as they tore his safety to shreds. </p><p>A shudder tore its way through his body, and Lorenz’s hands departed from his hair. They found their way to Ferdinand’s hands, hold gentle, aiming to stave off any panic.</p><p>“Are you still with me, Ferdinand?” Lorenz’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Nod if you can hear my voice.” </p><p>Ferdinand complied, eyes shut as he surrounded himself in the familiarity that was the voice of his love. His ever patient Lorenz, who had gone above and beyond to aid in every step of his recovery. His selfless Lorenz, whose love was unconditional, who shielded him from every disquieting thought that threatened to drag his mind back into the darkness. </p><p>“We have known peace for years, and no one is coming to find you.” Lorenz gave their conjoined hands a gentle squeeze. “We have been present in Gloucester for years, safe within its confines.”</p><p>“And you are here to protect me.” He finished the thought, and leaned against Lorenz’s chest. “No matter what wishes to befall us, you are ever ready at my side.” </p><p>Small ripples worked their way through the bath as Lorenz held him closer, nose buried into his damp, cleaned hair. “I would never let any harm come our way. And if it is not our safety you feel trepidation over, perhaps some comforting words may ease your weary heart.” </p><p>Ferdinand opened his eyes to see the bathroom come into view. The sun had set some hours ago; dozens of warm candles were littered among the counters to bathe the room in a gentle glow. A faint aroma of roses wafted through the waters, damp petals floating amongst the fading bubbles. The curtains were drawn, which allowed pale moonlight to filter in through the array of trees that lined their estate. He was not in some unnamed field, senses pervaded by the cloying smell of warm iron. Ferdinand was in the arms of his lover, secure and warm, the outside world locked behind a window. </p><p>“I always welcome your sentiments, Lorenz.” Ferdinand rested his head into the crook of his shoulder, closing his eyes once more. “They are able to heal me like no other.”</p><p>“Do I have permission to continue washing your hair, or do you wish to rest for the time being?” The little ways Lorenz cared for him, the gentle tone of his voice… never did Ferdinand stop counting his blessings.</p><p>“You may continue.” For now, it was easier to remain in place, breathing in Lorenz’s scent. While it was reminiscent of roses, it was different from the one their bath carried, different from the plethora of ones that dotted the endless rows of the gardens. It was uniquely him, <em> his </em>Lorenz, and it brought Ferdinand comfort like no other. </p><p>Carefully, Lorenz’s fingers glided through wet strands of hair, the other hand wound tightly around Ferdinand’s. “Do you recall the time I compared your hair to a sunlit river? One that glowed a gentle orange, bathed in warmth that I could find in no other?”</p><p>“I do,” Ferdinand murmured, “I remember when you read me that poem on our anniversary.”</p><p>“Not even the skies could wish to hold the warm hues in your hair, my sun.” Lorenz pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “They could not hold a candle to your beauty. Why, I am positive the heavens are jealous of your radiance.”</p><p>Ferdinand wasn’t sure why, but tears began to form in his eyes. While these words had graced his ears before, something of how they were spoken, the gentle lilt in Lorenz’s voice tugged at his heartstrings. Instead of ruminating on the reason, he continued to focus on each declaration of love that left Lorenz’s lips. </p><p>“I have repeated this before, but I could never tire of running my hands through your hair.” With a smile, Lorenz gave their conjoined hands a kiss as well. “I would compare it to the finest silks, but even then, that is not enough. Could I find finer words to bestow upon you, know that I would in a heartbeat.”</p><p>“Have you truly run out of words to sing my praises?” He asked with a soft laugh. “Or have I left you speechless?”</p><p>“As if such a feat would be possible,” Lorenz whispered, “I simply lost myself within the stardust scattered upon your cheeks.”</p><p>Ferdinand could only offer a soft noise in reply, heart fluttering. This line was nothing new--yet another sentiment from the endless journals of poetry Lorenz had written in his honor. When whispered into his ear, voice softer than ever, it made Ferdinand feel as though he could melt into the waters below. </p><p>“Perhaps I did not speak fondly of you enough, and this is an error I must correct.” Lorenz slipped his hand under Ferdinand’s chin, and tipped it upwards. “The very heavens could not compare themselves to you. I do not consider myself a pious man, but had I you to worship over the Goddess, perhaps I could consider the faith.” </p><p><em> Saints! </em>How was Ferdinand supposed to reply to that? He’d just asked for a few soft sentiments regarding his hair…!  His entire face went aflame, eyes unable to focus on anything but the man before him. The warm candle light reflected off his violet eyes, the curve of his smile radiant in their glow. Lorenz’s hair fell over his shoulder, gorgeous as ever, practically glowing in the orange light. “I… Lorenz…”</p><p>“Have I gone too far?” His hand cupped Ferdinand’s cheek, brushing some hair behind his ear. “If you wish for the sentiments to remain simple tonight, that is something I can gladly follow.”</p><p>“It… it is not that, I believe.” He had to blink a few times, to tether himself to reality. “When I present these sides of myself to you, ones that I find ugly, you are able to find such beauty within them. I am aware you vowed to love me in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, and yet… you manage to take my breath away with your sentiments.”</p><p>Lorenz’s thumb brushed over his cheek, observing him, as if he was taking great care to memorize his features once more. “You may see your moments of weakness as undesirable, but I have seen you overcome these. Will you permit me to speak of them?”</p><p>Ferdinand found himself taking another deep breath, and gave a nod. “You may.”</p><p>His touch traveled to Ferdinand’s chest, and rested over a scar that laid over his heart. “I am sure you recall the words we spoke to another back in the academy, how despite our births placed us in the Empire and the Alliance, we could overcome any obstacles. Despite my confidence, I had worried about you during those five years. You had raised your lance to the Empire, and I did not know how that would treat you in kind. When my letters to you had gone unanswered, I could only hope you were well.” </p><p>He took a pause, voice barely a whisper upon continuing. “When you returned to Garreg Mach, run ragged… endless thoughts ran through my mind, all of them ending in one sentiment: you were <em> alive. </em> I could not begin to envision what you had been through, and to know your mind had blocked out some memories due to the pain sent such a similar feeling through my heart. To offer such unwavering support came second nature to me, and I have not stopped ever since.” Lorenz paused for a moment to trace the tips of his fingers over a scar. “I see these scars as pillars of strength, Ferdinand. You have overcome countless obstacles, and I admire the constitution you possess. Despite the grief you bear, the tears you have shed, the fears that grip your heart…. You have been able to smile, bright as ever. I am honored to be the one to claim your heart, and never have I been more proud to call you my spouse.” </p><p>Ferdinand could attempt to hide the hitch in his throat, but knew it was pointless. Lorenz’s visage grew blurry as tears sprung to the corner of his eyes, his gentle sentiments wrapping up Ferdinand in the world’s softest blanket. He could question how he got this fortunate, to have these words for him and no other, yet it felt pointless as Lorenz’s fingers continued to dance across his scars. All there was left to do was admire his husband, his rose, <em>his</em> <em>Lorenz.</em></p><p>“Thank you,” were the words he managed, voice muddled with tears, “could I offer you the same sentiments, of how you overcame the trials that came with unseating your father--”</p><p>Lorenz lifted his hand to place a finger over Ferdinand’s lips. “Tonight is for you, my dear. While I always appreciate your own soft words, I wish to focus on your heart tonight. When you are able, I shall listen to everything you wish to tell me.”</p><p>It seemed as if Lorenz had more words to say, and who was Ferdinand to stop him? His lips curved into a gentle smile as Lorenz’s finger traced over their shape, then worked to brush a stray tear away. In these moments, Ferdinand swore he and Lorenz were the only people in the world. </p><p>“Just as I protect you, Ferdinand, you offer me the very same.” Lorenz pressed his lips to Ferdinand’s brow, gentle and loving. “You are my very angel, whose wings are composed of sunbeams, bathing me in their gentle light. It is no wonder you always tend to glow, kissed by the sun itself.”</p><p>As if it were anything but, Ferdinand’s heart was surrendered to Lorenz’s honeyed words. If Ferdinand was the sun, then Lorenz was his moon--a gentle presence who illuminated his path on the darkest nights. Were stardust scattered amongst his body in the form of his freckles, Ferdinand could find them reflected in Lorenz’s eyes. Were he an angel descended from the heavens, Lorenz was a statue, a gorgeous work of art come to life. Despite all their titles, at the end of the day, they were Ferdinand and Lorenz, a pair who never tired of offering gentle words.</p><p>After wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand, Ferdinand wrapped it around Lorenz’s own. “May I offer one sentiment, at the very least?”</p><p>The smile on Lorenz’s face informed Ferdinand he may have guessed what he had in mind. “I am all ears.”</p><p>It didn’t need to be voiced; it was a phrase whispered to each other alongside each sunrise, each sunset, between lulls in their days. No matter its repetition, the words never grew dull, never lost the sweet taste upon their tongues. It was finer than any tea, warmer than the very sun Lorenz always compared him to. Yet, if the pair wished to repeat it for the very rest of their days, who was to stop them?</p><p>“I love you, Lorenz.” Ferdinand touched their foreheads together. “So very much.”</p><p>With a gentle smile, Lorenz brushed some of Ferdinand’s hair behind his ear. “And I love you the very same, Ferdinand.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed, make sure to leave a comment/kudos! If you want to hear about future works and rambles, make sure to follow me on <a href="https://twitter.com/that_nebbles">Twitter!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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